Beyond the Scar: Jennifer's Story | Bristol Family Photographer

Caesarean Section Awareness Photography Project

As we mark the end of caesarean section awareness month, it seems poignant to share a new post from my Beyond the Scar project - a heartfelt photography project that emerged from countless conversations with mamas who have experienced a caesarean section birth. All birth stories are valid and worth celebrating and Beyond the Scar aims to spark conversations by sharing caesarean birth stories.

Jennifer's Story: From Emergency to Empowered

My Son's Birth: A Complicated Beginning

When I gave birth to my first baby, nothing quite went as expected. He was unexpectedly big - something I now realise runs in the family. Even though we’re not particularly large people, we do seem to grow some rather hefty babies! After a long labour and a failed attempt at a forceps delivery, I ended up having an emergency c-section.

At the time, I didn’t feel like I’d had a traumatic birth - but looking back, I can see why medical professionals described it that way. My baby had a bleed on his head from the forceps, which led to a stay in the NICU and several trips back to the children’s hospital. The whole experience was complicated, and though I stayed calm through it all, the main thing I knew I wanted to avoid with my second baby was the risk of her being hurt.

Why I Chose a Planned C-Section for My Daugther

So, when it came to giving birth to my little girl, choosing a planned c-section felt like the right decision. It made sense to me to acknowledge the pattern in my family, to recognise that big babies are just something we seem to do, and to prepare accordingly. There wasn’t a big moment of decision-making or planning. I was already being monitored more closely after what had happened with my first-born, with extra scans and regular appointments with a consultant. She was really supportive of my preference for a planned c-section. There was one moment when I felt a community midwife was questioning my decision, but aside from that, I felt backed in my choice, and that made all the difference.

Planning Made Peaceful

Second time around, I didn’t have any particular support specific to the c-section, but what did change everything was what I could do to prepare. The birth itself was calm and beautiful. I had a playlist ready that really moved me. I knew my son was in the best hands with my parents, sister and brother-in-law, and I could fully focus on staying centred.

I used all the hypnobirthing techniques I’d practised - breathing, affirmations, staying in the zone - and our daughter was born into the most peaceful moment. There’s a photo of her right after she was born and she just looks serene. It’s such a contrast to what my son went through.

to Other Mums Considering a Planned Caesarean Section

If I could offer any advice to another mum planning a second-time c-section, it would be this: do whatever you can to keep yourself calm, because that’s the best way to keep your baby calm. With Rory, even though things didn’t go to plan, I remember being proud of myself for staying calm, using my breath, and helping to keep him steady through what became an emergency.

With my second child, I carried that same mindset—I had my music, my breathing, my affirmations—and I thought only of her. My job was to keep her safe, to guide her into the world gently and lovingly.

Finding My Voice Through Writing

Below is a poem I wrote in the early days. Writing has played a big role in my journey through motherhood. My first child was born during lockdown, which was incredibly isolating in those early months. I joined a Mothership Writers course and later became part of the Mum Poem Press community. It is here I found a sense of belonging among other mums, many also with newborns at home, experiencing the same as me.

Writing has been a deeply therapeutic outlet for me - not just for expressing myself, but for sharing and connecting with other mums. It’s helped me capture those precious fleeting moments in early motherhood that otherwise slip away so fast.

Motherhood: A Sonnet

Motherhood's biggest and best kept secret:

Will I be alright when I am carved

In two to become a me and a you?

When I speak to expectant friends on it,

I do not say how many times I cried

With love, elation, but often the blues.

Though we are many in transformation

That should be spoken of, shouted full pelt.

What just words describe this evolution?

A soul-shaping that can only be felt.

Watch a piece of you that moves in the world,

Birth and life immaculate, unfurled.

Mere conversation leaves something a miss,

Nothing can quite express the feeling of this.

- Jennifer