Beyond the Scar: Victoria's Story | Bristol Family Photoshoots

Caesarean Section Awareness Photography Project

Every day is a good to day to talk about caesarean section births. And I'm kicking off October with a new post from my Beyond the Scar project. Every scar tells a story and I want to give space to mothers to share their experiences of caesarean birth. These beautifully honest photographs are not just about scars, but about resilience, honesty, and the beauty of women’s bodies.

This is Victoria's story.

Victoria's Story: The Courage to Celebrate

The Scariest Moment of My Life

I couldn’t talk about it for a long time. My first son’s birth was the scariest moment of my life. There was no time to process what was happening, but my baby’s heartrate was a worry and he was premature, so in I went for an emergency caesarean section. I had to have what is called a T-cut, meaning the scar is a lot bigger and the recovery took a lot longer. My son was born and I immediately fell in love, but I also felt immense shock.

Struggling Through Recovery

Now, even several years on, I feel very angry about the aftercare I received. Or should I say, the lack of it? I was in incredible amounts of pain and drugged up to manage it. I couldn’t walk, yet I was expected to get up, wash, and care for myself and my newborn baby. But, I couldn't and I felt like such a failure.

Thankfully, a beacon of light in the shape of a very kind and helpful nurse came to help me one day. She really gave me the support I needed and showed me how to latch my son correctly so I could breastfeed him. She saved me!

piecing together my birth story

During those difficult early days and even now, one thing that really has helped me to slowly piece my birthing experience together is looking back at family video and photos from the birth and postpartum period. Seeing those moments, which I couldn’t fully process at the time, gave me a way to revisit and understand my birthing journey with more compassion. I am so pleased we have these visual memories.

Speaking the Unspoken

I want other mothers to know that it is okay not to enjoy your birth. For a long time, I carried a sense of shame for not feeling the joy I thought I was supposed to after my son’s arrival. But, my first son's birth story was scary and traumatic. It wasn't magical. I hope in being honest, other mums will realise that they are not alone in their difficult caesarean section birth experience ad that it is okay to say that out loud.

Celebrating My Body

I really am in awe of women's bodies. And now I am ready to celebrate my own body and the amazing job it has done at growing and birthing two healthy and happy children. Taking part in this photography project has helped me to look at my c-section scar with fresh eyes. My scar is part of my motherhood story and now I can look at it with a sense of pride.

Motherhood: A Sonnet

Motherhood's biggest and best kept secret:

Will I be alright when I am carved

In two to become a me and a you?

When I speak to expectant friends on it,

I do not say how many times I cried

With love, elation, but often the blues.

Though we are many in transformation

That should be spoken of, shouted full pelt.

What just words describe this evolution?

A soul-shaping that can only be felt.

Watch a piece of you that moves in the world,

Birth and life immaculate, unfurled.

Mere conversation leaves something a miss,

Nothing can quite express the feeling of this.

- By Jennifer McLamb (mother and poet)